The most common question I get asked, is it hard? Long- distance? Heck yeah and it’s not for the weak.
My now, fiancé and I have never lived in the same COUNTRY. Wish I was here saying city but thats not the case. I live in Spain ( I used to live in the US) and he has always lived in Germany. Here are a few things that worked for us and just as a disclaimer…
Before we met we were both MENTALLY strong and independent. I don’t mean ” I don’t need you” type of independence, I mean we both believe in order to flourish in a relationship you must : 1. Love yourself 2. Have your own goals, dreams, standards and 3. Not allow your happiness to rely on your partner or anyone for that matter.
This will not be a post about relationship advice this will be a post on how we managed to feel close while we were 1,200 miles away.
1. Keep a similar schedule
W and I managed to keep an almost identical schedule. Wake up any where from 6-7:30, go to work or class , big break in the middle of the day probably around 4-6 pm and then be in bed at 10pm. This allowed us to be able to pick up the phone and call because we knew where each other should be and it also allowed us to speak every morning and every night. If I was in bed, so was he. Granted, there will be days when he has to be out later due to an event, or I wake up earlier to study, but for 99% of these past 3 years we’ve had the same schedule. ( yes, even in the USA– I worked nights at the hospital so essentially I was nocturnal lol)
2. Plan your visits
This may sound vague so let me clarify… We are very blessed and are able to see each other every month ( the occasional 5 weeks happens if I have exams , so its usually on my end that causes us to go longer than 3-4 weeks). THE KEY IS… while we are together we plan when the next time we will see each other is. Anywhere from 5-7 days after he or I leave ,our flights for the next time is booked. (Flying from Spain to Germany is cheap most of the year) So this way we always have something to look forward to and it’s not this ” in the air tentative date”.
3. Have fun– be funny– keep it on fire!
Listen, not every conversation has to be deep and not everything has to be about how much you love each other! That’s obvious right, I mean you are devoted to each other although you don’t see each other daily. Send funny memes, people watch and report your findings (lol), a random FT goes a long way! Communicate on more than just sms (or whatsapp if you’re in Europe)
All I know is that people will doubt you, people will call you dumb or crazy and you will prove them all wrong (per usual). That was the case for us and here I am with a diamond ring on my hand as I type this. If we can LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST each other regardless of the distance, then in person WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE. (& we are.)
Also, find gratitude in the fact that you love someone so much that not EVEN DISTANCE keeps you from them. That is rare and that should be honored.